Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize