Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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