O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
