sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
