Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
