On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize