white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
