Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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