I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
