Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
