There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize