I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
