I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
