What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
