dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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