You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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