I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
