So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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