You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize