Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I need moral support for this bender
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Randomize
