it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
