We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
