do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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