Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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