No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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