Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
