Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
