Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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