Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
