The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
how drunk are you?
Several
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
