im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
