i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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