So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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