I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
