Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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