Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Screwed.edu
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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