I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
