You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
