Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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