if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
