I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
