I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize