My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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