Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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