Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
