i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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