Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
