I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
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