Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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