Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
