I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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