i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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