she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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