he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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