I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
