Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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