3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
