I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
