so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
